My little sister is graduating High School in 15 days. I received her graduation invitation last night and a few tears dropped as I thought of all the opportunities she has at her feet. All she has to do is take them. Quite possibly though those tears also fell as I remembered myself at her age. I wanted so desperately to get out of my tiny Texas town and into the big city. Since I was 15 my dream was to go to Dallas. Back then it was for a different reason, I wanted to model, but the underlying point was that I would be free to explore and have adventures.
It dawned on me today as I drove to work, the same way I do every day, across a bridge that puts the Dallas skyline into viewpoint that I am living that dream. I moved here the day after I turned 18 but lately with all the madness in my mind I had forgotten that once upon a time THIS was my dream. So today I stop and I congratulate myself. I may not be moving mountains and I may not be making very much money but I cannot forget that young girl’s dream. Now that I am here, now that I am living my life that I take for granted it is easy to forget that skyline and it is easy to get discouraged but some years ago I would have given anything to be where I am today. I did this. I accomplished this goal. So many days I am hard on myself but today I wrap myself in love because dreams are not meant to be forgotten.
I cannot stop dreaming now. I must set new goals and I have to work for them. Right now I am still in limbo about traveling but I feel more comfort in knowing that maybe this is not the right time. Yes, it will be something I accomplish. I have to stop doubting myself. As humans we doubt ourselves even when everyone else believes in us, we are always the hardest on ourselves. I will travel and I will explore this world that has too much to offer. It is my next dream and goal; I know I won’t be content with an 8-5 every day in an office for the rest of my life in Dallas. I know this about myself.
However, dreams take time and logic to happen. Realistically it takes planning and steps to make those dreams a reality. Just like my living in Dallas. When I was my sister’s age I had to get into the university I wanted and I had to work hard to stay there. After graduating and returning from Nicaragua I was hard on myself because a job didn’t fall into place as quickly as I wanted. But when I actually made a plan and stuck with it I landed this job which has been a complete blessing for my life.
Sometimes we lose sight of who we truly were before the world got ahold of us, shook us around, landed us on our heads and made us doubt ourselves and capabilities but most importantly our dreams. It doesn’t take much to get back to who we want to be but it does take hard work and patience.
Dreams are meant to be achieved and do not let anyone or any circumstance tell you different. Take the time and make the effort to find out what you want. My dream as I left my home town to live and work in Dallas has come true. I think it time to thrive in that for a time while I make the steps towards my next goal. Never tiptoeing but always moving forward even if it’s at a slower pace than I want. I’m still moving.
Peace & Love
Much love to Stephanie Keenan who sent me this inspiration this morning.